Tuesday, July 07, 2009

PET PEEVE #89

Dear women,

I feel I must inform you of a huge mistake that you are making. Maybe you don't know. Maybe you just don't care....but I feel compelled to tell you: This bouffant-ponytail shit has got to go. The freshly f*cked look is really getting on my nerves. I spend half my morning to make sure I don't look freshly f*cked before I walk out the door and you women spend half the morning with hair spray and combs and shit to make sure you look like you are. WTF?

Granted, I'm not the expert in hairstyles. I have spent the past five years of my meager existence being bored to tears with my hair and doing anything to it to just give me a little thrill.When long I have had it cornrowed....



I have kinked the crap out of it.....

I've shaved my head bald......Now I'm toying with blonde....
I completely understand dear women, if you don't take my advice. I mean, I am quite a whack-job when it comes to hair. But I did see a picture of Angelina Jolie in this bouffant pony-tail crap, and even on Angelina...Hello?....Angelina effing Jolie, she looks like a crack horror needing a fix. So if Angelina can't pull it off, think twice my lovely ladies. You are better off without it.
Your trusty goddess of style,
-tallulah















12 comments:

Anonymous said...

....but what if I have been "freshly f*cked" is it okay then? I'm with you on the hair thang. The other day as I was meeting one of my new neighbors (who had the requisite "freshly f*cked" blonde ponytail)I could not help wondering how I was ever going to recognize her again? She looked just like every other blonde on my street...skinny, pretty, and pony tailed. -boisecommaidaho-

tallulah said...

Boisecomma,
They seem to breed out here don't they?

dannogal said...

Can I get an AMEN!

Thank you for your great words of wisdom.

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

Not that you asked or care but I love love love your short blonde do.

As for the freshy f*cked look I agree but must admit it's better than the "hey I'm cool and don't wash my hair" ala Kristen Stewart and that whole vampire gang look. WTF is that about?

tallulah said...

dannogal-Is it just me or is the entire town of Mayberry going bouffant?

Peggy - Thanks for the blonde comment. I'll try not to tease or hairspray it! The Kristin Stewart thing cracks me up. "I'm beautiful, I weigh 98 pounds and I look skanky" seems to be the new hot trend.

Candice said...

I officially hate you.

It seems as though you can carry off any look. Even bald?

Bitch.

(j/k.... sort of) ;)

Carlos said...

shaved chicks are hot...

tallulah said...

I officially hate you too. Your rack along with those lips of yours are enough to send any man to their knees. Guys in the emergency room must get hard-ons despite their heart attacks, motorcyle road rashes and missing limbs when you are on duty.
Bitch. (jk-right?)

tallulah said...

Carlos-That's not the only things that's shaved. *wink*

Jodi said...

Oh T you're absolutely adorable with all those hair styles. Except maybe that kinky thing, not so sure about that. Hmmmm. Let me look at it again....

Nope, that was bad...

How come I never notice the bad hair out here??? Or anything else. Maybe you and boisecommaidaho should come and sit at the Merc and kind of gag outloud when a dork comes in. I love making fun of people just as much as the next guy!

tallulah said...

Aww cmon Jodi - kinky is my favorite...in more ways than one!

kate said...

Holy crap, you are ADORABLE!!