Friday, December 12, 2008


My brother is.
He plays bingo with balls.

VCee has been playing Bingo with my Mom (MeMa) every Thursday night for a couple of years now.
I've never really been into the game. I've played a few times but quickly lost interest. Maybe because when I played the game it was with one or two wooden cards that you pushed over the little windows when your number was called.
Straight bingo. Four corners count.
Maybe I never played because it always felt like someone had performed a lobotomy on me.
I 24.............I 24...........I two four..................last call....I 24....any bingo's.......anyone?
I always felt like I could run to the bathroom or do some online shopping between number calls. I couldn't understand the whole bingo concept. VCee rarely misses a Bingo night. MeMa even went on a cruise where the majority of the time she was on vacation, she played Bingo rather than ask single senior men to rub tanning oil on her back.
Then last night I decided to see what all the fuss was about. How much could Bingo change in 20 years?
First I was bombarded with dobbers and paper with numbers on it. Then I had all of this work to do when I sat down. Games to figure out, and games to prep and play for blackout games at the end of the night. On buttons. What the hell are on buttons? What color dobber was I supposed to use? Then MeMa told me there are no "regular games with four corners". There's the "broken picture frame", "double-bing0 with four corners", "postage stamp", "shape of Idaho", "celtic cross", "block of nine" and about a bazillion other games I had no idea how to play.
I was feeling a little light-headed as sweat formed on my brow. Then a nice little old lady named Gracie offered me a cookie. Mmmmm...I started to feel better.
I told VCee in the 11.2 spare seconds I had before the 1st game started that if I won, I was going to jump up and shout and scream BINGO! He laughed.
After I won the very first game (I did! I yelled and screamed and shouted BINGO!), VCee leaned over to me and said....."I just saw an entire table of women over there mouth the word f*ck when you won."
Hmmm....nice little old ladies with cookies were cursing me.
After the second time I won, I yelled "Bingo"....but not very loudly.
The third time I won with $90 now in my pocket, I barely said "Bingo" in a normal voice and then turned around shrugging my shoulders pleading,"Sorry...beginners luck." to all of the senior citizens that were about to rip my face off when I left to the parking lot.
I had so much fun! Did you know that when the caller yells O 66 that everyone rings little church bells? Did you know that when the caller yells I 22 that everyone toots on real honest to god train whistles?
This is totally my bag. Want to join me in my new Bingo adventures?


Anonymous said...

Wow! And I was going to call you to find out if you had won! Guess you answered that question. I'm surprised that you tamed your winning BINGO responses down to mere murmurs.....

the analyzer said...

I will totally go with you.

Jennboree said...

Old people can seriously be intimidating. The last thing you needed was a geriatric mob waiting for you in the parking lot. Good call in the modest winning.

Everything you described sounds like an awesome SNL skit. Or maybe these days a 30 Rock episode. :)

jpogue said...

I've gone several times and have never won. Hmmmmph. Do you go to the one on Glenwood? I quit going cause I never won. I'd probably keep going if I was as lucky as you are. You DO have to keep an eye on those old ladies though - they're friggin' brutal!

tallulah said...

Jodi-Senior Center downtown.
You should go again....there's a first time for everything!

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