Dear Way Down In Mayberry Residents,
I know we live in a small community and we pride ourselves on being kind. When I'm walking around our neighborhood, I am pleased when you slow down and frantically wave to say hello. But please remember this: ALL of you drive SUV'S. ALL of you have tinted windows and I have no clue in hell who you are because all of your big-ass cars look the same. So please don't think I'm not being friendly when I just do the "kinda half-wave" while squinting to see who is in the car.