Monday, February 26, 2007

SNOW JOB

Have I mentioned how much I hate winter?


I.


HATE.


WINTER.




Have I also mentioned that living in Way Down In Mayberry practically requires you to ski or involve yourself in some other outdoor winter sport? Snowshoeing, jogging, snowmobiling and ice fishing are just a few of the activities of choice. I am a total social pariah when it comes to winter activities. Way Down In Mayberry neighbors think there is something seriously wrong with me. Why would I live in such a beautiful place with the foothills and ski mountains out my backyard and not participate in them?


Ummmmm....because there IS something seriously wrong with me.


My choice is to sit and wait ever so patiently until Spring arrives while vacillating between cups of hot tea and hot showers.


Guess what? Bubby and all of the kids snowboard. Every year I find several reasons to not go up the hill to our very close ski mountain. The kids hound me. "Moooommmm! Please! Will you go up and watch me snowboard?"


So Friday evening I broke down and headed up the hill. I think I convinced the kids that I had a good time. But here are some observations I thought I would share.


1. Remember when you were little and you went to the park? The park was fun but that 2 1/2 seconds of sliding down the slide was what you came to the park for. THAT was the thrill. Those very brief 2 1/2 seconds that kept you climbing up the stairs again. You came for the rush.


2. I have observed that skiers are the same. A little older, but still wanting that rush.


3. When people are not literally skiing down the hill, no one seems happy. They are trudging through the snow, trying to get ice out of their gloves, adjusting their bindings and generally looking miserable. People aren't laughing or having a good time. They are all waiting around for that next rush.





Here is a picture of a bunch of people doing just that. (shot from the inside lodge window)

Really people. If I want a rush, I'll walk around naked in front of my window for neighbors to observe. I really don't need ice, cold, snow, ski equipment, 45 minutes up the hill and general misery to get a quick little high.


In the end, I sat in the lodge with Izzy. We observed the kids snowboarding, ate a lot of candy and I participated in several libations.


By the time we headed back down the hill, I felt very queasy and car sick.
This is the end of my rant.
Maybe in a couple of years I'll go up and watch the kids again. Or...maybe not.

8 comments:

T-girl said...

I LOVE to GO skiing! I can sit inside the lodge and look out the big picture window watching everyone else freeze their patooties off meanwhile I am all kinds of cozy, sitting in front of the fire... AND I got the best seat because I have not moved and everyone else has therefore I just keep moving up until I become "That Beotch sitting in front of the fire place that won't move!" LOL Yes Going skiing is fun! ;)

So when did jogging become a winter sport? Hell when did it become a sport at all, if it ain't in the Olympics in my opinion it is a torture device... hell even if it IS in the Olympics it is a torture device.

Good rant, I couldn't agree more, many a neighbor look at me with the same expression. In my opinion after the month of Jan, Mr. Weather is out of luck with me- between Nov- Jan it may snow any other times though... nope! I got tulips coming up and daffodiles blooming- snow need not apply! ;0

tallulah said...

t-Everyone jogs Way Down In Mayberry, or cycles or kayaks or blah blah blah. God, I'm tired just typing about it.

Jennboree said...

I've tried to ski and it was basically just falling down a huge mountain. My husband loves to ski. OR he thought he did until the mountain whipped his ass last time.

We've not had snow but we've had cold COLD windy WINDY weather and I'm sick of it! I'd like to take Bella for her 2 1/2 second rush on the slide without her snot freezing onto her cheeks.

Steven Novak said...

I moved to California about seven years ago.

Why?

To escape winter.

I am a very happy, and warm man. ;)

Steve~

tallulah said...

Jenn-Don't you live in Texas? How cold could it be?

Steven-I hate you.

tallulah said...

Jenn-Don't you live in Texas? How cold could it be?

Steven-I hate you.

Jennboree said...

Yes, I'm whining. North Texas gets pretty durn cold and the wind is what really freezes yer ass off. Funny that I complain cuz it is better than when I lived in Colorado.

mistressofchange said...

I detest winter, too. More than any words can ever describe. Please don't ask why I still live in Chicago. I have yet to come up with any sane answer.