The kids and I have a funny little saying........"Papa makes the money. We spend it!" That is our family creed. I'm really quite comfortable with this arrangement. I'm even more comfortable with the fact that I have no idea how much money we have, how much we spend, where the money comes from or our annual income. I don't have a clue how much is in savings, checking or stocks & bonds. I'm in denial people and it's just the way I like it.
Every month I get an allowance. I cash one check for the month and I buy groceries and stuff for the kids. Every day I walk around with my fingers in my ears saying, "la la la la I can't hear you." Suzie Orman (the financial planner from Oprah) would shoot me on the spot if she saw how I deal (or rather, don't deal) with money.
So today, I had to get money out of an account from a bank that I'm not familiar with. Bubby hands me the debit card and tells me to take out BLANK amount to spend. I have no flipping idea why this threw me for a loop......but I was nearly unable to function. I must have asked Bubby twelve questions about the card he gave me. The entire time he was looking at me like I'm a freak.
So off I drive this morning to what I think is the bank.....it's not the right one. I am literally sitting in a Albertson's parking lot dumbfounded, thinking of what to do next. A friend from Way Down in Mayberry is driving by and stops to ask what the hell I'm doing just sitting in the car like a stupid ass. I tell her I can't find my bank. I could tell after she started driving away that she was convinced I was smoking crack. I might as well have been.
I call up Bubby at work and I'm frantic that I don't know where the bank is. I have him look up in the phone book where all the locations are. As I'm headed across town, Bubby calls me back and says...........
"Didn't I give you the debit card?"
Me: "Yeah, so?
Bubby: "Well....... why don't you just go to an ATM and get the cash out?
Me: "Ummm.........
Bubby: "You know. Just get the cash out at ANY ATM that is near you."
Me: "Ummm........oh. Yes. I guess I could do that."
I swear to you from the depths of hell that I AM LOSING MY MIND! Help me people. I used to be such a intelligent person.
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2 comments:
TALLULAH, YOU'RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO THE LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE LIKE BANKING, CHECKBOOKS, ETC. IF YOU WERE LIKE ME, YOU WOULD FREAK OUT IF YOUR CHECKBOOK DIDN'T BALANCE EVERY MONTH AND YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD OVERDRAWN. HEY!!!MAYBE THAT'S A WAY TO GET ON THE OPRAH SHOW----NO CLUE ABOUT FINANCES.
you used to be so intelligent? You thought Alaska was an island like Hawaii because of where it was on US maps....you didn't know that nuns wore "habits" and the comment from you was "are they called that because they wear them everyday?"! Come on, you've always been a ditz, albeit loveable, Donut
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