Saturday, February 25, 2006


When I was growing up, a good girlfriend of mine that lived around the corner from me was Mormon. Every morning when I picked her up to walk to school we prayed before leaving her home. Every Monday night was Family Home Evening, and I had a standing invitation to attend. I probably missed 5 nights out of my entire childhood. Some of the things we used to do during Family Home Evening were:
1. Play board games.
2. Make home made ice cream.
3. Have a talent show where each member in the family had to perform a talent.
4. Make taffy and pull it.
5. Watch a movie or even home movies.

Bubby and I incorporated a "Family Fun Night" in to our family. We too, play board games, watch movies and generally do goofy stuff as a family. I even bought the children a old-fashioned air popcorn popper for Valentines Day so they could experience the "family unity" of watching the popcorn pop like we did when I was a kid.

There are a few things that I am certain that I do not remember happening during Family Home Evening Night as a child.

We sat down and watched Happy Gilmore. It's PG-13 and full of naughty words (not the F word though). It's highly entertaining and the kids had not watched it before. We laughed through the entire movie. Adam Sandler is quite the crack up. Well, if you have ever seen the movie, there is a goofy one-eyed alligator that ends up getting wrestled by Happy Gilmore. At the end of the movie, you see the alligator and Abraham Lincoln smiling down from Heaven at Happy. Silly stuff.

After the movie ended, Leroy had a total meltdown while Bubby was popping that oh so special popcorn in the air popper. Leroy was crushed that the alligator was in heaven and for some god forsaken reason, thought the alligator was pregnant with lots of babies and the babies died. Huh? This is a kid who loves Bionicle movies, Pirate movies, Jurassic Park and Godzilla but just really had a soft heart for this one-eyed alligator that you maybe saw a total of 45 seconds in the entire movie.

Meanwhile, while I'm tending to hysterical Leroy........................Izzy starts running around the house yelling (and I quote):

"Oh my God! Where's my fucking bullet?"

Multiplied by 53. Over and over and over and over...........................................

They say that kids are parrots. They just repeat what they hear from their Mom and Dad. This comment....."Oh my God! Where's my fucking bullet?" might have seemed quite normal if you grew up in Dick Cheney's home, however, not the norm at the All house.

Adults can usually keep a straight face and ignore the expletives coming out of a two-year old's mouth so that he will eventually tire of the phrase, but the 8 and 10 year old thought it was the funniest thing they had ever heard. (And to tell you the truth, I couldn't keep a straight face either and put my head down on the table so the children couldn't see.)

Apparently Izzy had lost his bullet to his Attacktix guy and was anxious to locate it. I on the other hand, was anxious to leave the house in my junk food bag strewn mini-van never to return again.

This is not how I imagined Family Fun night. I am quite certain that these incidents did not occur in my friends loving LDS home. Maybe if we turned to Jesus, we could all be saved and enjoy a WHOLESOME night of fun as a family.


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