Saturday, December 03, 2005

PRIVY TO PRIVACY


Being a large family, we have rules here at "the All house". A lot of our rules center around privacy and being polite. Here are a few:

1. Do not go to the bathroom with the door open. Close the door and lock it. This way one of your siblings cannot walk in on you. If the light is on and the door is closed, someone is in the bathroom and do not disturb them. Give that person privacy.

2. There are no communal bathroom options. You go to the bathroom by yourself. You do not pee with your other brothers in to the toilet at the same time.

3. You DO NOT go to the bathroom outside unless you are stranded in the wilderness.

4. No air shall escape from any orifice on your body without saying, "Excuse Me."

Oh, the list goes on and on. But these are just a few that are stressed in our home. Which brings me to my blog............

Yesterday was one of those days that early on, I knew I wouldn't be engaging in a lot of "Me Time." I was okay with that. The great thing about knowing that your day is busy and you won't have a moment to yourself is that if you do get some private moments, it's a little nugget of surprise. It feels as if you have spent the weekend at the spa with George Clooney.

By the evening, I hadn't had a moment to myself and was okay with that. I announced to the kids: "I'm going to the bathroom and then we will turn on the T.V. to watch Santa Claus is Coming to Town."

I wasn't in the bathroom 20 seconds when I heard this tiny little knock on the door and Leroy whispering, "Mommy."

Silence..........I ignore it.

Then I here a much louder knock on the door followed by a regular toned kind of annoying drawn out, "Moooooommmmmyyy".

Silence..........I ignore it.

Then I heard a noise (if I could bottle that sound it could keep dogs howling all night long) that sounded as if an animal were dying. If Leroy were in the wilderness, animals would be traveling far and wide to devour this very sick animal. The sound would bring the buzzards circling. It's a very primal and uncomfortable, muted kind of scream. Along with the screaming came the "FLASHDANCE" movie stomping up and down on the floor.

I quickly open the door and just popped my head out. It scared Leroy. Good. Then I said in my very best, pained face whisper............"Leroy! Privacy Please! What do you want?"

Leroy: "I need to go to the bathroom."

My face twisted beyond recognition I'm sure. Leroy saw it. His eyes bugged out of his head. His mouth turned down in an odd grimace.

Mom: still whispering "We have two other bathrooms." then in a low almost monster-like voice I said........"Use one."

I have never seen a child run so fast!

Last night, as I was drifting off to sleep, I thought of that incident and laughed. But I laughed too soon..............

At 3:00 am I awoke and nature called. I went to the Master bathroom which is just steps away. I was literally peeing mid-stream when I heard...."Mooommmy."

"Mooooommmmmmmyyyy"

"MOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYY"

I was thinking, "Jesus Christ! Can't I pee in privacy at 3:00am?" I walked out to see little Izzy who awoke in his room and came to ours. He was sitting on our bed, hair tousled with sleepy eyes. Izzy's underwear pulled up to his chin. He saw me and exclaimed, "THERE your are!!" All annoyance melted away. I slipped in to bed with my child who still has baby fat on his knees and belly. Izzy stuck his finger in his mouth, curled up next to me and was asleep in less than 30 seconds.

Sometimes, not having any privacy is the best thing of all...............

2 comments:

The Analyzer said...

You know, if you let them in the bathroom while you were peeing, there would be no more interest in coming in while you were peeing!!

Anonymous said...

You know I walked in on my mom as she was getting out of the tub. That was all it took! Never again did I walk into ANY room without knocking! Hummm maybe THAT is why I now prefer men!???? Kendoll