Saturday, November 26, 2005


A few years ago, Bubby bought me one of the best presents a girl could have. Diamonds? Furs? An exotic vacation? Nope. Bubby surprised me with my very own dual-controlled electric blanket!
If you had to sleep with me, you would understand my elation. During winter months pre-blanket, I would roll in to a fetal position, teeth chattering under four layers of pajamas. I would have terrifying nightmares of icebergs and frozen tundras. I would awake crying because my bed had finally warmed up and now I had to leave it.

I really am a joy to live with.

Since my present, I am happy. I pre-heat my bed in the evening. I slip under covers that are toasty and inviting. I am down to one or two layers of jammies at night. Life is good. Except for the cats............

You have heard my complaints about our geriatric cats. They lie around all day in sun spots throughout the house, soaking up the heat. They meow. They poop and eat. They don't play. At night, they wait with anticipation for me to heat up my bed. When the opportunity arises, my cats form themselves around my body and do not move.

All night.........

All five of my felines are glued to every arm, leg and torso. They purr. They drool. They are the happiest kitties alive. They lick themselves and preen as the heat emanates through the duvet on to their old and tired bones.

I awoke at 1:30 this morning lying on my back. One cat was on my left at about my knees. One cat was on my left at my rib cage. One cat was on my right at my feet. One cat was on my right next to my face. The last cat (and lightest thank God) was on my stomach kneading my chest apparently waiting for the milk to come.

Unfortunately, the cat on my right foot is also the cat with an attitude. If you move in the bed, he starts to growl. Pooh doesn't like it when you move. King kitty does NOT want to be disturbed. If you actually get up the nerve to kick him off the bed, you may want to ensure that you are under several layers of blankets before doing so. Pooh attacks and bites, spits and hisses at the mound moving beneath his body. I have awoken with a toe bleeding on more than one occasion.

Fortunately for Bubby, he doesn't have to endure any of this cat abuse. His side of the bed is ice cold. The cats will have nothing to do with a bed that has not been properly warmed before their arrival. I'm afraid to see what happens if I didn't warm the bed up one night. The cats may just form a mutiny and get rid of me all-together.

Bring it on...........

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