OPRAH

(photo at left: Toto. One of several of our Humane Society Animals)


Anybody who knows me, knows that Tallulah loves Oprah. Nobody diss's Oprah in my presence without a possible ass-whoopin. It is common knowledge in the Hall house that the children steer clear of Mom while she is engrossed in an episode of Ms. Winfrey's. Wine glass in one hand, bon-bons in the other, tissues box next to me in case it's a real cryer.

Yesterday was Oprah's first show of her 20th season. Boy, was I excited! (Yes, I understand how little it takes to make me happy and how meaningless my life is.) About two-thirds of the way through the show that I was enjoying, Oprah has to break for a commercial and says, "Come back after commercial to see the new bundles of joy that Stedman and I have added to our family." Anyone understanding Oprah (like I do, duh.....) are well aware that she is not having children. So I guessed it would be kitties, bunny rabbits, dogs etc. since Oprah has a thing for animals like I do.(another cosmic connection we both share)

Next thing you see on the screen is Oprah and Stedman out in the middle of the desert approaching this animal-like compound (think puppy mill) and go in to this shabby residence (think trailer). It seems Oprah and Stedman have traveled to this remote location to PURCHASE two Golden Retriever puppies. Golden Retriever puppies with "good descendant lines" go for about $800-$1,000 a piece. GR puppies that you buy through a local Mom & Pop operation (or as I say in a hick accent, "Gee Billy, we could sell us some damn fine pups to pay for that new hot rod after the bitch goes in to heat.") can go for as little as $200 each. My guess is that Oprah chose the "good descendant lines."

Well of course Oprah couldn't leave with just two. There was a third that had an underbite. Oprah says, "How could she go through life being discriminated against for her little underbite? I just had to take her too."

Okay Oprah................how about all of those dogs you discriminated against that are sitting in cages waiting for their execution because they weren't of the right blood line. Come on! I know she must have heard of the Humane Society. Does she really think that puppies don't exist at the pound? Hence the term....POUND PUPPY. Not only has she done the TEN MILLION viewers a disservice by showing them that buying through breeders is an okay thing to do, but now every Oprah viewer is going to want to go out and get themselves a Golden Retriever! Oprah can't read a book or talk about a new product she likes without half of America going out to purchase that same product. You wait........a year or two from now the amount of Golden Retrievers at Humane Societies and shelters across the United States will have increased because everyone wanted an Oprah dog. Then these people will realize after they take those cute puppies home, they grow in to very big dogs who poop, bark and chew on things just like any other large breed and off the dogs will go.....to be abandoned by their owners in turn for the next popular breed.

I grew up with a Golden retriever named Bunk. He was such a great dog. Don't think that I'm putting a breed down. I'm putting Oprah's behavior down. She has a huge responsibility to set a good example for human/animal kind.............she let me down.