Sunday, August 28, 2005


After talking with my family physician, he thinks there may be something wrong with me physically. To tell you the truth....I think there is something wrong with me mentally.

Doc thinks I may have something awful like Crohn's or Celiac disease. I've got some major stomach issues to deal with. So to start things on the path to discovery, he wants a Endoscopy and a Colonoscopy procedure performed. If you don't know what these procedures are, you are one of the lucky ones. Cameras get probed in to orifices that really should be quite sacred. This is where you need to use your imagination............

After speaking with the nurse over the phone, she explained in detail all of the prep work required before the big day. The nurse also explained that I will be getting IV sedation along with a drug that will make me remember zilch. She explained how perfectly sublime these drugs were and how many people wish they were legal because the drugs are such a wonderful, relaxing experience.

This is where I think there is something wrong with me mentally. I'm actually LOOKING FORWARD to my procedure next week. There will be an entire afternoon of being calm and sleepy. I cannot look after the children. I can't prepare dinner or help them with their homework. I won't be able to give the sweet little ones a bath and get them to bed. Tallulah will just be this dreamy little pile of playdough all curled up in bed......blissfully sleeping the afternoon and evening away.

"How sick are you?" I know you are thinking. Well, I guess.....pretty damn twisted. To allow a doctor to stick a large device where no Man has gone before (okay.....I'm lying on that part), just to get legally drugged and get some peace for a day? Pretty sad, I know.

So Way Down In Mayberry, and elsewhere in the world......wish me luck. Hopefully, there's nothing too majorly wrong with the working innards of Tallulah. It will just be a hiccup in the big scheme of life.....a very floaty, happy hiccup.

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