Friday, July 29, 2005


My family has been telling me about "Space Bags" for years. You know, those things you see on infomercials. You stick a hose in a bag full of clothing and it sucks it down to nothing. Flat as a pancake to store away those pesky, bulky things.

My sister Donut just went on a cruise to Jamaica. She couldn't fit all of the outfits she wanted in to a suitcase. Solution: Space Bag her entire suitcase contents.

Now Donut is a clean freak. Her house always looks perfect. Donut always has a perfectly balanced, hot meal with a home baked pie for dessert awaiting your arrival. Donut also is very organized. She has Space Bagged everything that you can possibly imagine. Donut has them perfectly stacked in her large walk-in closet. Available at a moments notice for a change of season or an overnight guest.

I guess I thought Space Bagging was just one of these quirky things that a family that is fond of infomercials do. I was wrong. My friend Way Down In Mayberry....The Analyzer and I were talking on the phone yesterday. The Analyzer was Space Bagging her four children's winter clothing and bulky comforters and then ever-so-neatly storing them under her bed. After I laughed for about five minutes, I then realized that Space Bagging has hit Mayberry.

I don't think I could ever Space Bag our clothing or comforters. I don't know if I can't get past the name. It's interesting how you can use the word "Space Bag" as a noun, adjective or gerund depending on how you use it in a conversation. "I just Space Bagged my entire closet!" or "You are looking a little Space Bagged out today.(depleted)" or "After work, I plan on getting completely Space Bagged at the company open bar.(drunk)" I also struggle with having SO MUCH STUFF, that I have to squish it all down to use it once or twice a year. I'm in denial you know. I'm the most disorganized Mom on this earth and I STILL refuse to Space Bag.

I have envisioned Space Bagging our children from time to time. Wouldn't it be nice if we could store them away, and then "re-constitute" them when it was convenient? For example: "Kids, we are going to be Space Bagging you for the weekend. Mommy and Daddy are going to Vegas." Or even if you wanted to use the Space Bag as a punishment. "Johnny, if you don't behave, I'm going to put you in the Space Bag for ten minutes." I guess it's just that total lack of air thing that probably wouldn't go over well with the children.

How about Space Bagging our pets? We have seven of them and could just rotate them out and re-constitute them depending on the situation. Tori wants to pet a kitty? Choose one to take out of the Space Bag. Christian wants to play fetch? Grab a dog and have some fun.

So for today, I am Space Bag-free at my house. There is always a chance to convert Tallulah to Space Baggism...I'm game you know. But if you drop by my house Way Down in Mayberry, expect to trip over blankets and find clothing falling out of drawers and closets.

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