I-DEE-HO

Background on Mayberry:

1. Surrounded by foothills. Five miles from capital city.
2. 300+ families. Small town.
3. Upper class suburbia with all amenities. Pool. Clubhouse. Store. Organic Garden.
4. Excellent school with more than 200 children on waiting list to get in.
5. Not diverse. Very few nationalities here. Welcome to lilly-white I-dee-ho.
6. Highly educated families.
7. There are ALWAYS children running amok without parental supervision.
8. There are ALWAYS dogs running around without leashes or owners.

I grew up in a small town. I have visited small towns all over the U.S. I KNOW small towns. Here are my observations of small towns (and prejudices of the like).

1. People don't have a lot of money.
2. People aren't educated.
3. There are ALWAYS children running amok without parental supervision.
4. There are ALWAYS dogs running around without leashes or owners.

THIS people is the problem. I have come to the realization that it doesn't matter whether you have money or an education. People still let their kids run around like banshees and never keep track of their animals. What is this about? Mayberry is on my shit list for these two offenses. Come on people! You know better.

Last summer Bubby and I were walking down Mayberry Lane, enjoying a nice cool evening. It was close to 10 PM when I see a little girl of no more than two wandering down the middle of the street in a diaper. We were new to the area. Bubby and I did what any other caring people would do.....curse the parents under our breath and then start knocking on doors trying to find the owner. We eventually found the parents. They didn't even know said child was missing.

I also get daily calls from parents in the neighborhood looking for their children. Here is how a typical phone conversation might take place:

Me: Hello?
Parent: Hi tallulah. Have you seen Johnny (who is seven years old)?
Me: Yes Mrs. So&So. I fed him lunch today and he stayed at our house for about three hours until I sent him home.
Parent: Oh.
Me: Is he missing?
Parent: Yes. I've been calling around the neighborhood. I guess I'll have to go out and look. If you see him, will you send him home?
Me: Sure. When is the last time you saw him?
Parent: Oh, I left for work about 8 this morning. He was supposed to stick around the house today.
Me: Um....okay. I'll send him home if I see him. Bye.

Oh....and the dogs. THE DOGS! Every day my children bring home dogs that they have found in the neighborhood. They know it is wrong (and against the law I might add) to let your pooch run free. Bless their hearts. They put the animals in the garage and feed it and give it water and call the owners or knock on doors until the owner is found. They work very hard to ensure the safety of the pets.

Okay. Have I rambled. Good! For christs sake people! Take a little responsibility for the children and animals you have CHOSEN to raise. And in the process......you will give me some much needed peace.