Tuesday, November 10, 2009

MALE CHASTITY

I was browsing Google the other day searching for something as innocuous as soap molds and looky what I found!



Am I the last person on earth to find out about locking up penis's? Where have I been?


Danielle Egan writes:


"Now you might be picturing leather-clad dungeon-dwellers with rubbers balls in their mouths, but belters walk among us as boss, accountant and airline pilot. In fact, frequent-flying belters inspired revolutionary design changes after suffering the embarrassment of setting off airport security metal detectors. Traditionally, men suffered steel cage-like contraptions invented circa 1850 to prevent the “imbecility” of “self-pollution.” Secured by bulky chains and brass padlocks, these Draconian-looking devices were heavy, caused pinching, chafing, swelling and all sorts of hygiene problems. So in the late 90s, Frank and Dorris Miller dreamed up the CB-2000 line of belt-free ventilated polyurethane “tubes” secured by “cuff ring” and plastic lock. Now in this post-911 high-security era, the Nevada-based company makes 70 percent of the belts on the market, cranking out “tens of thousands of tubes and business is on the incline.”




I clearly need to get out more.


After researching different sites that are proponents of male chastity belts I have learned a couple of things that I know you are dying to hear about........
1. Men that are in to woman dominatrix clearly like these little contraptions. They like being locked up and their woman only holding the key to their happiness.
2. Male chastity is HUGE in the religious community. Cock control is obviously some how intertwined in the Jesus lovers of the world. Women use it to keep their husbands from cheating and *SHOCK* masturbation. It's hard for those men to sin and surf porn sites if they can't even tweedle their dum.
3. Apparently men that aren't masturbating (or having intercourse) every 24-72 hours get really focused on pleasing their wives. They spend more time doing dishes and cleaning the house. They figure if they please their wives outside of the bedroom, maybe their wives will release "little willy" to play.
I wonder if any guys have ended up in the emergency room because their wives flushed the keys down the toilet in a fit of rage? heh heh



22 comments:

Carlos said...

im convinced it would fall off if i didn't masturbate daily soooo ouchie!

elle said...

Seriously? People do this for real, and not as foreplay? I think that company would hit the ball out of the park with a t-shirt proclaiming "cock control for jesus".

Anonymous said...

Apparently I'm going to have start checking out the packages more often....can't imagine you could hide one of those beneath a pair of chinos. -boisecommaidaho-

tallulah said...

Boisecomma-Funny you mention that. I never look at a mans package, but that's all I have been able to focus on since learning of this.

tallulah said...

Elle-"Cock Control for Jesus" is such an awesome t-shirt! I think I will have one made up and wear it to the next PTA meeting. Wanna come?

tallulah said...

Carlos-You should try it. Give the missus a little control.

kate said...

Sweet! I know what hubby's getting for Christmas.

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

you want to do this why?

are you glad to see me or is that a Chastity belt - has such an awful ring to it.

I have heard a lot of stories from a friend who works in the ER but I must ask her about this one.

Gee thanks for the enlightenment Tallulah. :-)

tallulah said...

Peggy-I would want to do this (of course)in hopes that my husband might clean the house more. Ha!

Yes...let me know if your friend has ever had this one in the ER.

tallulah said...

Kate-wrap it up real purty. He won't have a clue!

Jennboree said...

1) What freaking religion endorses this? What's their number?

2) How AWESOME

3) Um..I anticipate there would be pee issues. Beyond the obvious...

tallulah said...

Jenn-
1)I've seen everything from Catholic sites to Bible thumping sites. 1-800-LOCKYOURCOCK

2)Does this mean H is getting one for Christmas?

3)Peeing isn't a problem. If you put on your glasses (you are gettting old you know) and look closely, there's a slit in the plastic for just that purpose!

Jennboree said...

Have you ever seen an efficient man pee-er?

If I lost the key, would we call have to call a locksmith? That could be awkward? The only other option would be to take a hammer to the cock lock and I don't see that as going very well.

After weighing the pros and cons of the cock lock, I think we'll stick to traditional cock block methods.

Can't believe I've written that awful word so many times! But then again, me n' my lady friends discussed The Shocker over dinner the other night...

tallulah said...

The Shocker? Jenn...do tell!

The Girl Next Door said...

Yes Jenn do tell! LOL

Um, this whole post made me stare at my screen like a gapping fish out of water! I just can not imagine! MAN, I seriously feel SO much better about my control freak issues! This was like prozac for me! LOL Next man I am with... I am going to use this as a weapon, "you think I am a bitch, oh you aint seen bitch, come here to the computer let me introduce you to how lucky you are!" LMAO

Kiki said...

Shock and awe - now that's what I call Creative Capitalism I'll tell you!

Jennboree said...

**Vulgar Alert**

The Shocker: Two in the pink, one in the stink.

Fingers, that is.

You are welcome.

tallulah said...

Jenn-YOU are so naughty! Yes, that would be quite the Shocker now wouldn't it?

tallulah said...

Kiki- I wish we had thought of it first!

Jennboree said...

I apologize for yesterday. I really have to stop drinking straight from the chocolate syrup bottle...

The Girl Next Door said...

ROTFLMAO @ Jennboree... I had to read that about 30 times before I realized... that did NOT say SINK... THAN it made sense... maybe I just need to give up the bottle period! LMAO

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