Sunday, June 24, 2007


Every year Way Down In Mayberry I talk about the pool (okay, not actually the pool, but the people that frequent it). WDIM has grown so much that we actually have two pools in our little slice of Suburbia to people watch now.
Since last year, I have noticed a few things:

1. Parents still don't watch their kids. "What's a drumstick or two in the pool?" Is that MY Johnny gasping for air?"

2. Women seem more body conscious than ever and have spent their entire winters working their asses off (literally) to show off their new bikini's.

3. Abs seem to be a big hit this year. You can see the stomach muscle ridges. Damn! That's a lot of crunches.

4. Many women that I noticed last year have gotten boob jobs over those long winter months. Or maybe their tits always did a "sun salutation" and I just never noticed. Hmmmm.....

And of course my contribution to the pool this year is hair-free cooch appropriately lasered and smooth. I still have concave breasts, a double chin, a flabby stomach and I'm as white as a cotton ball, but hey, there's always next year.

(This picture was taken at the height of summer season last year. I took it only because that position on the bed make by breasts look big. It's a trick of the camera. God, I'm such a narcissist.)


Jennboree said...

We went to the pool yesterday. I was more mesmerized by the mommy with the giant Mayan-ish tattoo around her belly button than the buff mamas in their expensive tankinis.

Flipping channels the other night ran across American Inventor (or something) and a dude was trying to sell this stick-on you place on your abs then peel off leaving "shadows" of muscle ridges that really don't exist. THAT is my kind of workout.

Did you wear a hat to cover your less than ample do?

tallulah said...

I totally want the shadow abs! I will look while surfing infomercials.

I enjoy the shock factor with the hair,so I just spray on SPF 1000 so I won't burn my scalp.

Bliss said...

if i could only get rid of the cottage cheese thighs, i wouldn't give a damn about the itty bitty tits and the ghetto booty. can anyone spot me a liposuction?? thanx in advance!