Friday, January 26, 2007


Dear Service Industry People:

I'm not one to complain much. I really understand that you are making minimum wage and couldn't give a rats ass about how I feel. However, I feel I must offer these words of advice:

DO NOT, under any circumstances, hand me my change with the bills on the bottom, change on top of the bills, and receipt on top of the change.

Handing your customers a cluster*uck of money does not make us happy. It annoys us and makes us grumpy customers. We drop the change. We drop the receipt. And as a result, we are more likely to take our time putting our goopy mess in to our wallets and keeping the customers behind us waiting...and ultimately, you waiting as well. In case no one has taught you proper protocol, may I suggest the following?

If you are giving me $4.36 cents in change, please put the coins in my hand first. Then top my hand with the dollar bills, and then say "and here's your receipt" and put that in the hand of my choice. And if you are really feeling cheeky, you may want to count my money back to me. I know, I know, this takes precious time out of your already busy schedule. But hey! You have to be there for the next six hours anyway, right?

Your boss has not been happy with you. I am not a mind reader, I know this because nearly everywhere I go, I get the wrong change back. Doesn't your boss notice the missing money from your till? Within the past month, I have gotten incorrect change back nine times. In every single instance but one, you have given me too much money back. In one case, I paid with a $100 bill and received $121.32 in return. This is more profitable then playing the stock market!

Thank goodness that I am honest, but I suspect that some of your other customers are not.

And one more thing....... please stop giving me dirty looks when I close my hand after you put the bills in my hand. This is just a signal that you will have to wait while I transfer the bills to my other hand so that I may take the change without dropping it on the floor, or worse, all over the pavement through a drive-through.




the analyzer said...

let me know how this works out for you.

mistressofchange said...

Amen, sistah! I just wish someone would give me too much change back! Of course, I'd give it back--but it'd be nice to experience it.

Something else I dislike: Before you're done putting your money away and collecting your bags, the cashier has moved onto the customer behind you, who is edging their way closer to you, hoping you'll move. Life doesn't require that we race through it. As a customer, it's important that I finish my shopping experience completely before exiting the line. Therefore, help and perhaps hand a bag to me so I don't hold up the line; don't help the person in back of me first. Ugh!

T-girl said...

Yeah I agree... I like that $100 thing, that would really work for me! LMAO

I'm Just a Girl said...

MoC - I know EXACTLY what you mean! Why am I always being rushed out at the checkout line? I hate it at the grocery store or places with carts, because then the person waiting behind you has a "weapon." I've actually had people nudge their cart against me before the cashier is even done ringing up my stuff! I'm usually rude about it, or give them a look like, "Hey, WTF? Can't you see I'm standing here?" Grrrr...

Sorry to tangent there, Tallulah! I agree with you too, I hate when the plop the change over the bills. Usually I just slide the change into my wallet but still, it's definitely more secure in your actual hand! And I honestly don't even count my change, hardly ever. If I'm at a drive thru I'm more concerned that they didn't screw up my order!

Velma said...

OMG - the change on top thing is SUCH a pet peeve of mine! Especially at the drive-thru, since I am guaranteed to drop the change into the gutter. God, I really hate that.

Shoshana said...

Ugh! I'm with you on this one.

Because of that lumping up change, I completely missed that my wallet was still in a cart which the cashier immediately rolled away from me as soon as she finished hanging the 4 plastic bags and my change on my appendages.

Never did get my wallet, and she's lucky I never got hold of her again or I'd have yanked her hair bald, lawsuit be damned.