My friend The Analyzer was ordering a organic wild turkey for Thanksgiving. She asked me if I wanted one.
"Sure!" I said enthusiastically.
She then told me the turkey was $4+ dollars a pound with a $9 dollar (or was it $12?) slaughtering fee. Blah blah blah was all I heard when it came to the money portion.
I asked for a 16 (or was it 18?) pound turkey. I don't know for God's sakes! I just wanted the damn thing big. We are going Vegetarian on January 1st and this will be our last big bird for at least a year.
Have I mentioned that I suck at math. There is a good reason Bubby pays the bills.
Well Ms. Analyzer gave me the total............$84.00. A flipping turkey for 84 bucks? The damn thing better be dipped in gold leaf.
Well then I had to tell Bubby how much the turkey cost.
"Next time you buy a turkey, buy one that's hormone injected and grown in a cage." says Bubby. "Oh, and don't even THINK about spending any extra money on it to get it smoked."
Now he's downstairs slamming things around and grumbling all the while. I deserve this one. I will never live down the year I bought us a fricken $84.00 turkey.
I hope I don't burn it..............
10 comments:
ARE YOU COOKING THE TURKEY FOR THANKSGIVING???
Wow, I got reamed for buying a $6 head of lettuce once. I think an $84 Turkey would be grounds for a public flogging (especially since Bubby's work gives away FREE holiday Turkeys!
Kendoll
I'd be afraid to even cook it! Perhaps you can do like in Chinese restaurants where they "preserve" their dishes for your viewing pleasure. You could always keep your $84 bird.
How vegetarian are you going? ALL the way or will you still wear belts and cute boots?
Jenn- Give up cute boots and belts? NO WAY! A girl has got to have standards.
Bubby and I have been vegetarian most of our adult lives until we had kids...then we got lazy. Now we get to torture the little ones now that they have become accustomed to meat. Hee hee.
Kendoll- Thanks for reminding me about the free turkey. You DO deserve a public flogging...but knowing you, you would LIKE it!
Oh...and the best part...I'm not even cooking it on Thanksgiving. Since we are gong to a relative's house, I am cooking it the next day so we have left overs!
I hope you don't burn it either. I have to ask, though, seriously, as a vampire, have you really thought this whole vegetarian thing over?
Shady-I'm just a lousy wanna-be vampire, wanna-be martha stewart, wanna-be yada yada. Oh...and add to the list, wanna-be tree-hugging, vegetarian hippie.
Well best of luck to you when the New Year rolls around. Will be very interested to hear how long it lasts with the kiddies. ;)
IF I SPENT 84.00 ON A TURKEY, I'D BE TERRIFIED THAT I WOULD ACCIDENTLY BURN IT. SO, RATHER THAN HOLDING MY BREATH, I WOULD DELIBERATLY BURN THE DAMN THING, OFFER IT UP AS A SACRIFICE, AND FEED IT TO THE RACCOONS. THEN, I WOULD LET BUBBY BLUBBER, AND COOK HIS WORK TURKEY FOR THE DAY AFTER.
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