My friend The Analyzer was ordering a organic wild turkey for Thanksgiving. She asked me if I wanted one.
"Sure!" I said enthusiastically.
She then told me the turkey was $4+ dollars a pound with a $9 dollar (or was it $12?) slaughtering fee. Blah blah blah was all I heard when it came to the money portion.
I asked for a 16 (or was it 18?) pound turkey. I don't know for God's sakes! I just wanted the damn thing big. We are going Vegetarian on January 1st and this will be our last big bird for at least a year.
Have I mentioned that I suck at math. There is a good reason Bubby pays the bills.
Well Ms. Analyzer gave me the total............$84.00. A flipping turkey for 84 bucks? The damn thing better be dipped in gold leaf.
Well then I had to tell Bubby how much the turkey cost.
"Next time you buy a turkey, buy one that's hormone injected and grown in a cage." says Bubby. "Oh, and don't even THINK about spending any extra money on it to get it smoked."
Now he's downstairs slamming things around and grumbling all the while. I deserve this one. I will never live down the year I bought us a fricken $84.00 turkey.
I hope I don't burn it..............