SUNDAY MORNINGS

I love Sunday mornings. Usually my routine entails getting up late (by putting the kids to bed at midnight the night before), making & drinking lots of dark, rich coffee, and reading the newspaper. Bubby usually makes pancakes with smiley faces and letters of the Alphabet with blueberries or chocolate chips peeking out. Really, it's a scene out of a corny movie.

This morning was different....okay, quite freaky.

The kids (Christian and Tori) joined this fun run event for their school. Leroy takes after me and would rather pull his toenails out one by one then to waste his breath NOT running for his life. So we headed off to the pancake feed at the butt-crack of dawn this morning. While in line for food, I realized I only had $100 dollar bills that couldn't be cashed for pancakes. I also noticed Leroy hopping around like a frog and blurting out strange things at high-pitched frequencies. Hmmmm.....did I give him his meds this morning?

So (sigh), Leroy and I head back to the house for appropriate sized dollar bills and medication. Halfway home (and remember, we only live a block 1/2 away), Leroy starts having a panic attack. For anyone not familiar with panic attacks, you could go your whole life and never, EVER need one of those in your life.

As Leroy is laying on the ground, flailing his pasty little white arms and screaming at the top of his lungs "MY THROAT IS CLOSING UP AND I'M GOING TO DIE" scenario, a nice couple across the street with two small children stop to stare. I take time out, put on my best & neighborly "just smile and keep walking asswipes" look and do my best Miss USA wave. I then pick up Leroy, throw him over my shoulder like a sack of flour and continue to walk the entire way home.

After arriving back at the event with a drugged up child and money in my pocket, I was feeling quite glib. The run went well. Everyone was happy. There was a nice woman with a guitar singing "Puff the Magic Dragon" after the event.

We arrived back home and I immediately opened the refrigerator to have a nice piece of cold, vegetarian pizza and a cup of steaming hot coffee. I lurve cold pizza.

Do you know what chipotle peppers are? They are smoky and hot and the most delicious food on earth. I put chipotle peppers (adobe sauce) through the blender and keep a large amount of it on hand. Bubby and I pour it on everything.

When I opened the fridge, the container fell and about three cups of it splattered all over the floor, fridge, my pants and shirt.

One cup of the adobe sauce splatted directly into my right eye.

(Insert screaming, crying and my own version of panic attack here.)

Bubby directed me to the sink and for the next half hour, I vacillated between crying hysterically and hopping up and down while a fountain of cold water covered my face, hair and body. It really was quite the scene.

I wish you could have all been there.

Next Sunday.....I'm staying home.