Monday, January 16, 2006


Search all you want for a spark of intelligence in this dogs eyes. Stare until your eyes water because this is the dumbest dog you will ever get the chance to lay your eyes on. And to make matters worse, Ben won't die.

Ben is 14 years old and a very big (and disgustingly overweight) dog. He has bad hips and is on very expensive medication to relieve the pain. Ben eats designer dog food made for old dogs and he sleeps sixteen hours a day. Ben is losing his eye sight and hearing and still has the ability to sneak household items that are on the floor outside and bury them in the yard. Ben barks at EVERY dog that comes within a mile of the house (which really pisses the Way Down In Mayberry neighbors off) and scratches on the door to get in and out



The incident that sent me over the edge happened last week..............

It was pouring rain outside. The dogs were getting soaked, so one of the children let them in. The dogs were dragging mud all over the house and jumping around because they were out of the rain. Ben found Christian and I in a bedroom, cleaning out Izzy's things to make way for the office. Christian and I were rolling around on the floor laughing about something and having a great time! Ben proceeded to walk in the room and shake his muddy, wet and disgusting old dog fur about two inches from my face (I must remind you......I was laughing at the time with mouth open, eyes closed and on the floor).
If I could only describe to you the sensation of having water and mud sprayed all over you as well as a mouth full of dog hair, mud and water in my mouth. It took me three teeth brushings to get the disgusting taste out of my mouth.

I really think that this was THE funniest thing Christian had ever seen! He laughed until he cried.........and then he laughed some more. Every time he looked at me throughout the day, Christian broke down in to uncontrollable giggles.

I really need to shoot that dog.

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