THEORY #87

Is it just me, or does it seem like everyone has the "I need to make my children happy and have warm fuzzy memories all the time" syndrome? Parents are tiptoeing around their children to ensure that they have perfect childhoods. Not only do parents buy their children every monetary item whether they can afford it or not, but put their families in to huge debt for the Disney Vacation Cruise or Leggo Land. "Why do parents want to be their child's f-r-i-e-n-d? What is going on with America? Why does this generation of adults insist that their children grow up in a ME! ME! ME! generation?

Chucky Cheese is a good example. My kids have been there three times in seven years. Once as a celebration for adding two new children to our family, once when some out of town friends wanted us to meet them there so their kids and our kids could play while we talk, once for a Birthday. Our kids ask every week........"Moooooommmmm, can we please please please go to Chucky Cheese?" My answer: "If I took you to Chucky Cheese all the time, you wouldn't think it was special and anyway, who wants to hang out with a giant scary mouse? Let's play a board game and eat popcorn instead." Their response....."Aaahhh Mom!"

My theory is that as long as you are loving, kind and good to your children.....they are going to turn out okay as adults. So you move around a lot. So your house isn't perfectly clean or your kids don't have the designer clothes. So you are a hit man on the side to make extra money to put food on the table. Really, we parents have to stop worrying so much about pleasing our children and start worrying about what's right for our family as a whole....as a unit. Kids are resilient. When they know that you love them and they are safe, is there really a lot more that they need other than food, shelter etc.?

I briefly touched on this theory at book club last night. I think my fellow book-clubbers think I have fallen off my rocker. Which I may already have. I've decided I'm not buying my children one more THING like toys, games, memberships, school paraphanalia.....the list goes on and on. Instead, I am going to give my children a greater gift. The gift of service. We are going to sit down, pick a charity and then get to work! I want my children to realize that by helping others, they will be helping themselves to become better citizens in this world.

My children can think whatever they like about me and Bubby. They can think we are screwed up, mean, dysfunctional or weird. That's okay. I love them. I would go to the end of the Earth for them.

They'll turn out okay.