Thursday, August 04, 2005


I keep putting off a blog about my book club ladies. Maybe it is because they are easy to talk about individually, but as a group very hard to describe. Some of us are Moms with small kids, some of us have grown children and are Grandmothers. We are professionals, stay-at-home Moms and retired women. We are all for the most part, liberal and avid readers.

Each month we read a different book hosted by one woman who has already read the selection. That is so interesting in itself. Some of the books are absolutely awful in my opinion. At the meeting, she tells us why she has chosen that selection, and then we discuss the book for minutes. The other two hours and 45 minutes is then an off-shoot of our original discussion. We go off on tangents and it's very personal. Sometimes we talk politics or religion, sometimes we talk about sex, sometimes we talk about deeply personal issues and before you know it, we are all crying and boo-hooing. Very therapeutic.

The most important thing about our book club ladies........we have a kinship that is quite special. We instantly formed this bond that makes our group more than a just a bunch of women discussing a book. When someone is having a hard time, word gets around faster than lightening. Our book club ladies band together and help out one another in need. When we have parties or barbecues, more often than not one else from Mayberry is invited but the book club klan (and maybe our husbands if they are lucky.) We are a pretty tight bunch.

Something has happened lately. Word is getting around Way Down In Mayberry that we have a really cool book club. I'm sure we all boast about how special our group is. The problem is now that the word is out, everyone wants to join. As Bloomer D said so eloquently at The Analyzer's birthday bash....."Let them find their own f*%#ing book club." I couldn't have said it better. When the dynamics of a group change too much or too often, all is lost.

So we have made a pact not to allow any more people to join. We are in the 8-10 range of people right now. Anymore and you would lose the intimacy of the group. People are always asking me, and I'm always saying....."Sorry. We are full." It sounds so elitist and I guess in a way it is. I'm willing to look a little stand-offish to preserve the integrity of our group. I'm not about to be all nicey-nicey and say, "oh sure, come to a meeting a join....there's always room for one more." Maybe I should relax. Maybe if they come to a meeting, they won't enjoy the established intimacy that we share. Maybe they won't be comfortable talking in our therapy sessions and they just won't come back. But how am I supposed to be comfortable enough speaking up when there's a complete stranger in the room? In the meantime, I'm the Mama bear and I'm going to protect my cubs..............

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