Monday, July 18, 2005

TOP 10 REASONS WHY I SHOULDN'T BE A MOTHER

10. It's not about ME anymore.
9. I can justify repeatedly why pie has enough of the food groups to have it for dinner on a weekly basis.
8. When driving with the children, I often drive with my knees. A. I like to freak them out and B. I have to write down all of NPR's music, movie and book suggestions.
7. Have calculated to THE DAY when my last child will be in school full-time.
6. I know McDonald's is leading them to an early death and I STILL take to McDonald's three or four times a month.
5. Children repeatedly try to convince me there are advantages to being a sober Mother.
4. Tuning out the kids has become an art. I can go days without really knowing what any of them said.
3. It REALLY is not about me anymore.
2. I highly medicate my children. I am convinced they have every malady that with proper medication will either A. Make them calm or B. Make them very very sleepy.

Drum roll please............

1. I get so annoyed when Child Protective Services keeps "visiting" our house because they just "happened to be in the neighborhood."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

CPS doesn't really stop by, do they?