Sunday, November 12, 2006

THE QUESTION THEY WILL ASK SOME DAY...




What did my parents look like?
Sadly, biological Mom kept saying she was going to bring in a picture to Social Services of herself and Leroy and Tori's biological Dad, but never did. When you are homeless and a drug addict, pictures to the adoptive family are probably not on the top of your list.
I also have NO photos of them before they were 2 1/2 and 5 1/2 years old. Can you imagine growing up and being an adult and not having any pictures of you as a baby?...being doted on, cooing as family members take turns holding you at Christmas, birthday celebrations with your face covered in cake.
This is one of the things I feel most badly about. I should have tried harder when Social Services was in contact with the biological family. If and when we adopt another child, I will do everything in my power to get some photographs of their former life.
The other day, I was looking online at the sheriff's reports. They show pictures of sex offenders that may live in your area as well people that have been arrested and criminals with outstanding warrants. I'm somewhat of a voyeur as well as a safety freak. I want to make sure that there are little to no criminals living Way Down In Mayberry. We live in an incredibly safe area. I want to keep it that way.
As I was scrolling through the pictures, one caught my eye and damn near knocked me off my chair. There, staring directly at me was Leroy. Oh sure, this person had long, dark black hair and was a woman and weighed about 250 lbs, but it was Leroy! When I double clicked on the picture, a larger picture came up and there was a warrant out for her arrest. And damn if the name didn't confirm that it was Leroy and Tori's biological Mom!
I sat there shaking for what seemed like hours although I suppose it was only for a few minutes.
I was very curious what Tori and Leroy's bio-mom looked like, and here she was....looking almost identical to Leroy. Had I have seen this woman on the street, I would have stopped and stared because the likeness in uncanny.
And although I don't necessarily believe in God, I DO believe that everything happens for a reason.
That day, I was meant to be on the sheriff's website. That day will change everything for two of my children as they get older and are curious about their bio-mom. I have a picture for them. A picture they can stare at and daydream about and compare how much their eyes or nose or skin tone looks like hers.
When they are adults, they can try and contact their bio-parents if they choose, and if not, they will always have the photograph.

8 comments:

Shoshana said...

My husband and I were check out the sex-offenders site the other day too. You could have knock us with a feather when we found someone we know there. We know he's divorce, we just didn't know that his picture would be up there.

I don't have much picture from when I was a baby. People are always taking them away. I do have one of when I was about a year old. I look just like everyone else in my family...and if I wanted baby pictures, I'd have to visit my legions of relatives because it's a sure bet that my picture would be in their family album.

I guess the bright side is, you found a picture of your children's biological Mom. That's something.

I'm Just a Girl said...

I didn't know Leroy and Tori had the same Mom and I knew Leroy was adopted but didn't know Tori was. (Guess I haven't been reading your blog as long as I thought!) Anyway, I'm glad you at least have the photo. I'm sure it was quite a shock though to see that picture. What are the odds??

I'm Just a Girl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Another Shade of Grey said...

They are beautiful children. It is always a good thing to check up on the sex offender site and see where they live. You just never know. I wish they would require them to have some sort of outward identification when out in public. It is nice to know where they live, but would be even better to know if they were standing behind you in the grocery line.

Jennboree said...

That is amazing. I'm so very glad you found a pic of the children's biological mother, even if it wasn't under the best circumstances. See? Your diligence in keeping Way Down In Mayberry safe sort of paid off. Now you have something to give Leroy and Tori one day.

I recieved a picture of my bio dad a few years ago. I don't care to ever meet him, but I do like having something tied to my personal history. My husband has never seen a pic, nor does he want to, of his bio dad.

So will you wait to see if either child asks?

tallulah said...

Jenn- Were you and your husband both adopted?

I will wait until we are talking about the subject of bio parents before asking if they would like to see a picture. I wouldn't even mind if they had a little framed picture in their room or a scrapbook to put the picture in.

Jennboree said...

We both are with our mothers but neither know our bio fathers. Mine left when I was barely two. Apparently, I didn't even call him daddy...just "Mike". And I have no memory of him at all. He gave up all parental rights to my now dad. A few years ago, my mom's mother gave me a picture. It was very odd to see such similar features!

My husband's mother got pregnant as a nurse in the Army. My husband has always told his mother never to tell him anything. He truly hates the man for deserting her.

But I do think, no matter how it happens or if it is one bio or two who are not in our lives, we have curiousity and questions. Some choose to seek out answers, others want no explanation.

cloudscome said...

It is sad the way the tiniest scraps are so precious for our children.