Friday, October 13, 2006


I loathe McDonald's. I despise the playland with all of the screaming, greasy-fingered children. I cannot stand the overly-salted, fatty food. I have yet to EVER find a happy and smiling worker (and really, who can blame them?)

I hate McDonald's on so many levels....and yet, I still on occasion take my children there because it makes them "happy."

Today was one of those days where after running 23 errands, I just felt bad for the toddler strapped in his carseat for the last 3 1/2 hours. He can't really keep himself busy by reading a novel or listening to NPR. I wanted to let him get his wiggles out and have some food.

McDonalds. Perfect.

This is pretty much what Izzy looked like when we went to McDonalds.

Even though I dress him in "boy" clothes (football jersey's, skeleton shirts, Thomas the Tank shoes, pretty pink dresses - ha ha, caught you on that last one ), because of his hair, people always think that Izzy is a girl. What do I care? I know the kid has a penis. I really don't give a shit what gender people think he is.

So I go up to order the stupid happy meal and this conversation ensues:

Worker: "What can I get for you?"

Me: "A happy meal with chicken, ranch sauce, fries and a chocolate milk."

Worker: "Do you mean chicken nuggets?"

Me: "Yes."

Worker: "We are out of ranch."

Me: "Okay."

Worker: "Do you still want the chicken nuggets?"

Me: "Yes."

Worker: (looking at Izzy and then slowly back to me) "What kind of toy do you want?"

Me: "What do you mean?"

Worker: (not knowing if Izzy was a boy or a girl) " you want a girl toy or a boy toy?"

Me: (looking at a picture of toys offered) "Hey buddy! What kind of toy do you want? Do you want a car or a doll?"

Izzy: "A doll."

Me: "He wants a doll."

Worker: "Ummm...just a minute."

I see said worker summon her Manager. She then asked the Manager if it was OKAY to give a doll toy to a boy. NO SHIT! The Manager after looking over at me and seeing the absolute R-A-G-E that was forming across my forehead and down through my piercing eyeballs of fire, she (and I think reluctantly) said "yes."

Now granted, I think the worker may have been a little. on. the. slow. side., so I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. But the Manager?

After Izzy ate his nutritious meal of fried chicken fat, we then sauntered outside to a nice afternoon of parallel play with two other three-year olds that were engaging at playland. A Grandmother kept saying to her grandson, "Gunner, go play with that nice little girl." Gunner finally came over and barely whispered "hi." Izzy quite loudly said, "Hi. Nice to meet you. Want to go down the slide?" The Grandmother came over to talk while Gunner and Izzy played and asked how old my daughter was.

I said..."He's three."

She said..."That's a boy?????"

I said...."Yes."

"But he has a Disney Princess doll in his hand and long hair." Grandma astonished.

I mused..."Yes. He does."

And I kid you not, I have never in my life seen a woman take off from somewhere so fast! Her big Grandmotherly butt high-tailed it out of there with a screaming Gunner in tow. All the while she was saying to Gunner: "But don't you want to go to Cabella's and get a cammo hat?"


Anonymous said...


MomSquared said...

Now Tallulah...don't you know that letting your son play with dolls is going to MAKE HIM GAY? Do you really want that? I mean, really?

Don't you think you should give him guns and teach him how to pretend to violently kill people? You know, teach him to be a MAN?

tallulah said...

Ha ha ha Shev! I'm working on it. I really hope that I can produe a gun loving, animal killing, wife beating kind of REAL MAN. If you have any other hints, please let me know.....

cloudscome said...

HA HA this post is so funny. You know I hardly ever go to McD's and the last time I went I didn't even let them have happy meals. Just the nutritious chicken fat. But the time before that we went through the drive through and the person asked if I had a boy or girl and I just said boy. I didn't even realize they were gender typing my happy meal until I read this post. Duh. Next time let me remember to ask if Buddy and Punkin want pink with that.

The Analyzer said...

Oh My God!!! I SSSOOOOO wish I had witnessed that whole episode, just to watch your face!! I was once told that Mason was "too lovely" to be a boy. Hmmmm. What??? But as you'll note, no one has problems telling that he's a boy now, so just hang in there!!!

Velma said...

Don't you know it's never too soon for the gender stereotyping? LOL! When my daughter was 2 and 3, she was insanely crazy about Thomas the Tank Engine. Also, bald. And yes, I used to dress her in Thomas t-shirts and we used o get this aaaaaaaalllll the time.

Jennboree said...

I'm with Analyzer...watching YOUR reaction would've been highly entertaining and educational.

It is true too that it isn't just Izzy's long hair, he has a lovely face and that throws people off.

Perhaps you should just carry around the latest pic of him in the skull and crossbones t-shirt.

I'm Just a Girl said...

I think you should have also told Grandma that Izzy also likes to dress in women's clothing and listen to Streisand. Then you could have shit yourself laughing even harder!

Lynn said...

Thank you, I needed a good laugh today. Glad to see you have met my neighbor. Hell, you met most of my town. Next time lower your voice and answer "Yeah, he's a chip off the ol' block." See how fast she can move then.

Mayberry said...

OMG. People are really bloody stupid. At least you can laugh about it.