Many bloggers that I correspond with have either adopted children or are in the process of adopting children. As you may already know, Bubby and I have four adopted children and one biological. Our adoption story is different than many. Issues that we feel are important and right for us, may not be acceptable or right for others. We are coming from a different place. No adopted child in our family was "given up for adoption." Our children were taken away from their parents......drugs in utero, neglect, abandonment and abuse (physical and sexual) just to name a few. Here are some things that I believe:
*"First Mothers" and "First Fathers" is a politically correct term within the Adoption community and is a ridiculous term. I believe that being a Mother or a Father is an action (verb) rather than something you call someone (noun). I prefer to use terms like "the woman who gave birth to you" and "sperm donor." These are more accurate terms.
*Babies that are given up for adoption should have as little contact with birth families as possible. There are clear and concrete reasons why these children are being given up. I am completely against "Open Adoption." The only exception is that if an older child that has been adopted had relationships with other siblings or a foster family.
*I think that adopted children should have access to information regarding biological relatives when they turn 18.
*There are currently over 134,000 children in foster care (just in the U.S.) waiting for permanent homes. That is 134,000 lives that could be changed forever through the love and commitment of couples wanting children. That's not to mention older children spending their entire lives in Orphanages around the world. Discarded.
*The idea that people inside the U.S. adopt babies from other countries (for instance...China) when there are healthy African American and Hispanic babies in this country waiting for adoption and getting adopted out to other countries like Canada is in my opinion....racist. It is socially acceptable to have a baby from China, not a crack baby from the ghetto. Very sad.
*Seeing those advertisements on all of the adoption websites of happy, smiling couples giving their bio to women that are pregnant makes me ill. Couples with slick resumes promising the good life for children complete with a tire swing in the backyard and Grandma living next door. To think that adopting a white infant and spending tens of thousands of dollars on attorney/adoption fees can guarantee anything is just nutty. The couple could get divorced two years from now, the child could develop a neurological disorder or develop cancer. NOTHING is guaranteed.
Sigh....I could go on forever. But you get the point. I expect this blog will get a fair amount of hate mail.
On a positive note....Bubby and I are feeling the tug again. Maybe our family isn't complete yet?