SNOWBOARDING

Did we have to pick such an expensive sport? The cost to outfit and give lessons to three children (next year...four) is killing me. Do you know how many massages, cool clothing and cute handbags I could get for what is costing us to give our children some "family memories"? When I say family memories, I mean everyone but me. I don't do cold.

After special socks, wicking long underwear, gloves, coats, goggles, hats, fleeces, helmets, bibs, turtlenecks, rental snowboarding packages and snowboarding lessons....I'm ready to cry. Not just tears welling up in my eyes mind you, but the big heaving sobs that leave you breathless and broken. Tori's instructor says that she's a total natural. Fearless and calm. Christian has way too much testosterone for 8 and believes that he is the next Flying Tomato. Leroy is excited and counts the days until the next snowboard day. I was really hoping they would hate it. I was counting on them gravitating towards something cheap.........like Spelling Bee's.

The other day, Bubby decided that the kids needed special stickers for their helmets. You know, we haven't spent enough money without ordering designer snowboarding stickers from the designer snowboarding sticker website. The boys ordered some Grim Reaper and Devil stickers. Tori ordered Butterfly and Cherry stickers.

Snowboarding is not known for being politically correct. People think of snowboarders as pot-smoking, goofy teenagers who don't have anything to do in the winter since they can't skateboard. That may be true. The website had some truly offensive stickers with lots of bad words & inappropriate symbols. Bubby had to skip over those very fast before the kids could see them. For some reason, I don't think it would would be swell if my 7 year old was walking around with a sticker on his helmet saying....."Put Your Lipstick On My Dipstick".

After the kids went to bed. Bubby stayed up with Izzy on his lap while he looked at the rest of the stickers and checked out of his shopping cart. Izzy felt left out and wanted to pick out a sticker. Here is where we thought maybe Izzy would pick out a Unicorn, or maybe a Snowflake or a Rainbow to put on his skiing helmet next year. Izzy picked out a bright green sticker with only words that said, "Fuck you. You fucking fucker."

How appropriate that he would pick a sticker using his favorite word despite his illiteracy......