DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY

Going somewhere with Izzy is tricky. You see, Izzy is still attached to my hip at six years of age. I'm not complaining. Really. I'm just saying that when I get ready to go to a party and the children are coming with me, I have to keep Izzy's state of mind in MY mind. Let me explain....

Izzy (and all of our children) have not been schooled in the absurdity of "stupid gender stuff". As a child in our family you can wear what you want, express how you want to be and not be inundated with comments like, "Pink and Purple are girl colors." Or "Act like a man." Or "Stop screaming like a girl."

These statements make my hair stand on end.

I also live in Mayberry. Have I mentioned that? This is a community that clearly favors Ivy League Schools, football players and really, really testosteroned boys. By the time these uber-male, tanned and macho walking toddlers can say, "bottle", they can also say, "I'll kick your ass boy." Clearly....Izzy has not learned the "I'll kick your ass boy" terminology.

This is what Izzy chose to wear to my friend The Anaylyzer's surprise birthday party the other evening. I had to choose carefully what I was going to wear because Izzy refuses to wear anything that doesn't look just like my outfit. I nixed the strapless hippie tye-dye dress in lieu of a different one piece dress thingie. I took a silk scarf that I painted and wrapped it in my hair. This was in honor of a silk scarf that our book club had painted for the Analyzer. Izzy whined to wear a silk scarf as well, so I took a belt from my Victoria Secrets sexy silk robe and wrapped it around his head.

When I was applying my makeup, Izzy begged to put on eye shadow and blush. We compromised on glitter cheeks and lip gloss.

What I love, Love LOVE more than anything is Izzy's ability to just "poo-poo" the comments off. When Christian said, "What's in his hair? He looks like a g..."
Izzy interrupted, "It's a silk scarf just like Mom's. Doesn't Mom look pretty?" At the party I heard a little boy say, "What's in your hair?" Izzy replied, "See my Mom? She's over there. Her name is tallulah and she has a green scarf like mine in her hair. Isn't she pretty?"

I know. Izzy won't be like this forever. But for now, he thinks his Mom is the most fabulous thing on the planet. How can I argue with that?

YOU GET TO BE A TEENAGER & YOUR BRAIN SHUTS DOWN

This weekend, we informed Tori and Christian that if they still wanted to go out on Halloween to Trick or Treat, they would have to make up their own costumes. The days of spending a gazillion dollars on them for costumes is over. Even this year, my Mom (MeMa) bought the younger two their costumes.

And really, the look on their faces hid nothing. We might well have said that we were moving out of our house tomorrow and bunking down at a homeless shelter. The look of shock and pain and confusion was really too much to bare.

And to top things off....................................

Yesterday I was discussing with a friend about a party that we are both hosting next month. After she left, Tori asked why we were talking about the details of the party so much. I explained that there is a lot of work that goes in to a party from cleaning of the house to invitations and food and drink to serve etc. And this is what she said in my response to parties:

Tori: "Oh yah, I was going to ask you....I was wondering if I could have a Halloween Party Thursday night with about 10 of my friends?"

Me: "You want to have a Halloween Party and you are giving me 24 hours notice?"

Tori: "Mmmmhmmm."

Me: "No."

Tori: (rolling of eyes and getting terribly whiny) " But whhhhyyyy nnnnoooootttt?"

Me: "Because parties take planning, work and money and 24 hours is not enough notice. Haven't you heard me planning and discussing a party that I am having that is still two weeks away?"

Tori: "Well all you would HAVE to do is clean the house and decorate it on the inside and buy some food and drinks for us."

Me: "No."

Tori: "Gosh Mom...I never get to do anything fun."

Geez. I'm such a terrible Mother!