IT TURNS OUT I DID HAVE SOMETHING TO WRITE ABOUT

I guess I shouldn't complain. These are rantings of a privileged stay-at-home-Mom. Unfortunately, I find no humor in it like my friend the Analyzer and MeMa do.

TWO 1/2 months ago, I ordered a rug. I ordered a very nice, expensive rug. It came to me delivered by the UPS man who requested he put it in my garage on the basement floor. I said, "No. I must have it in my living room. Please carry it up to the second story." After I unwrapped the 90 pound rug, I discovered a very large melted/burned portion of the rug. I called the company I bought it from. Their hands were tied they said. We must discuss it with the Courist*an Co. So they did. Courist*an said they needed to send a representative out to take a look.....in about 30 days. I wondered if they were biking across the country, maybe from Rhode Island.
I finally got a call from someone saying they will come pick it up. UPS arrived again and asked me where I was sending it. "How the hell do I know? Aren't you supposed to know?" I said. "No," Mr. UPS said. "I can't take the rug unless I know where it is going." I finally got that f*cker out of my house. They delivered a new rug 90 days later. This time, the SAME UPS man said they changed their policy. He couldn't carry it up my steep steps to inside my house because the outer plastic wrap is dirty and they have had complaints that customer's floors have gotten dirty. I DEMANDED he take it up to my front porch and then my neighbor Kiki and I dragged it into the house!
To make a long story short, it took me 2 1/2 months to get a rug I originally ordered in January.

THEN.....

I decided ordering new stainless steel appliances would be a swell idea.

*Dishwasher came...great and it's whisper quiet.

*Refrigerator came...wrong size. My old refrigerator is now stored in the garage. Nothing like going up and down a flight of 17 stairs every time you need a glass of milk for four children...not to mention fixing a meal. Oh, and the kicker? Another 10 days before you can get the right sized refrigerator. 10 days go by, I receive the new refrigerator. Wrong size again. How could they possibly re-order the same f*cking refrigerator? And oh, another 10 days until you can have a refrigerator that is the correct size.

*Double ovens came (they took the longest - 14 days).....wrong size.

As of this morning, I had a perfectly working dishwasher, a refrigerator sitting next to my fireplace that was the wrong size, a working refrigerator in the basement garage and a HUGE hole where my ovens USED to be that will be in my home in another 12 days.

Very f*cking funny. I'm ordering take-out.